Faithfulness in Marriage

Faithfulness is a very sensitive issue when it comes to marriage. The major problem is that we are one-sided about it. We limit it to sex!
Honestly, I think that faithfulness to your spouse should be in all aspects. For instance it is wrong to go against your spouse for ANYBODY including your kids unless in extreme cases.
I may be wrong but a little correction won't hurt.
As I was saying, from a bible point of view, Saphira was a better wife than Abigail. Here's why.
Saphira stood by her husband even in the lies and died with him. But Abigail, she killed her husband, Nabal. She went and condemned him before David (a man of God) and God had to kill him. When he died, what was her first move? She ran to David. David and Nabal had one thing in common, they were rich.
That aside. Some of us have the attitude of shouting at our spouse not minding where we are or who is listening. Showing bursts of anger and claiming rights that you already have.
This and others constitute unfaithfulness. Don't think that unfaithfulness has to do with just adultery. It has to do with discussing your spouse's weaknesses with an illegal third-party. The ONLY legal and ALLOWED third-party in your marriage is God. That's the person that joined you together. The minister was just a tool.
Your spouse isn't perfect. That's why he/she married you. And that is why you should stay FAITHFULL to him/her. And don't forget, the both of you are ONE. Whatever you do to each other, affects the both of you.
Saphira died as a lesson and is being remembered. Abigail died without a sound.
I am not saying we shouldn't call our spouses to order when they are wrong. I just think that we shouldn't be the ones to first condemn them in public.
Have fun in your marriage. It's not as difficult as they say. God bless you!

Please leave a comment if you feel otherwise.

What does your spouse know? - 2

Sometime ago, we talked about "what your spouse doesn't know, won't kill him/her". After reading it, my hubby said that there are two sides to it. Talking and Listening. He also said that I spoke of one side; Talking side.
He went on to elaborate. Many don't talk because their spouse don't listen. Some of us forget that marriage is dynamic not static. We've fixed our hearts on concrete on the things we want to hear. When we hear differently, we flare up and become problems instead of solutions. Rather than hear him/her out, we cast different layers of blame on them.
Some of us don't leave the past in the past. We drag them to the present and even save them for future use. Your spouse tells you about a past, you hold on to it for leverage (as a weapon) to use against him/her should the need arise (of course, our expectations can never be cut short).
Your spouse requests for the fulfillment of a "banal" desire, you throw the bible at him and then blame him for cheating on you when someone with a listening ear meets his desire.
He/She can't tell you anything because, they know what your reaction will be, violent. Therefore, outsiders, usually the opposite sex to your spouse, become more informed about happenings in your own home than you. A terrible experience for anybody.
It's bad enough that outsiders want to come in and destroy our homes, but most terrible when we hand them the most potent weapon they'll ever need: your spouse.
One of my hubby's favourite quote is, "and lead us not into temptation". Once I hear that quote, it can only mean that I am doing something that is pushing him away.
Stop reacting to what he/tells you. Start acting with God at the lead and see your marriage blossom.
Oh! Don't forget to have fun! Cheers!

Being in Love is a good thing, but not the best thing.

A Quote from Mere Christianity about marriage and being in love.
C.S. Lewis was such a wise man!
I love this!

Proverbs 31:12

Dear Lord, help me to be like the Proverbs 31 woman.

7 Secrets to a loooooooooooo.....nnnnnng Happy Marriage

1. “Divorce? Never. Murder? Often!”
Entering matrimony with the mindset that “divorce is not an option” is vital for the long-term success of marriage, say the Marriage Masters (a term we gave couples who have been happily married over 40 years). They went on to explain that this kind of mindset allows a couple to see solutions to marriage’s boiling points — and trust us, not one of our interviewee couples avoided such periods of relational strife — which would have otherwise been overlooked simply because one eye was too busy examining exit strategies.
Marriage Masters simplify this into one word: Commitment. And they’re quick to point out that commitment is the virtue sorely missing from today’s marriages. That said, there are deal breakers that very few of our interviewed couples advocated working through. These are known as the three A’s — addiction, adultery, and abuse. A marriage overwhelmed by any of these three issues is unhealthy, plain and simple, and the Marriage Masters suggest that if you find yourself overwhelmed with any of the three A’s, take care of yourself (and your safety) first, and the marriage second. 
In the end, the old saying holds true: where your attention goes, energy flows. So the next time you’re facing a mountain in your marriage, focus on the next foothold and soon enough you’ll find yourself over the top.

2. “There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage, only perfect moments.”
We were shocked to discover how much work went into creating a great marriage. We’d always figured, “Hey, I’ll just find my soul mate and things will naturally fall into place after that ... we’ll live happily ever after.” Um, not so fast, one Marriage Master wife said with a certain look that meant business. “Whoever said being soul mates was going to be easy?”  Her husband of 52 years nodded, then added, “Marriage is a bed of roses, thorns and all.”
Any time two individuals live together (especially over 40 years) there are bound to be annoying, irritating, and frustrating experiences. But whether it’s the toothpaste cap, toilet seat, snoring, or the last-minute pull-the-car-over-to-check-the-score-of-the-game-at-the-local-bar move, one thing is for sure: the best marriages are served with an extra helping of acceptance for one another’s peccadilloes. “And that’s the beauty of marriage,” said Maurice, another Marriage Master. “All of our individualities, all of our wonderful differences. You gotta have friction. You can’t get any heat without friction.”
We would do well, they say, to expect non-perfection; practice patience and give the acceptance we want in return. There’s no doubt that this is hard work, but judging by the end result, it’s well worth the effort.

3. Unpack the Gunnysack
“People ask us our secret to marriage,” said John, married 48 years. “I tell them it’s the boxing gloves. We aren’t afraid to say what’s on our minds.”

Unexpressed frustrations in a marriage can pile up and weigh us down like an overloaded gunnysack. These accumulated frustrations can quickly turn into resentments. “Holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die,” said Sally, married 50 years. “Resentment will eat away at your marriage.” The Marriage Masters encourage us to unpack the “gunnysacks” by opening the communication lines as frequently as possible. But guess what? If we haven’t created and nurtured an environment where open, honest communication is welcomed and treated with diligent respect, then we can wave these crucial “clearing the air” moments goodbye. So where did some Marriage Masters go to build that trusting, open environment? Weekend marriage retreats! These powerful getaways stood out in many of our interviewees’ minds as the one experience that turned their faltering marriage into a flourishing one. The trick, of course, is convincing the husband to attend.

4. Never Stop Dating
It has been said that it’s the quality of time, not the quantity of time that matters. But now we know, thanks to the Marriage Masters, that it’s the quantity of quality time spent together that leads to a wonderful marriage. Whether it’s a vacation in the Bahamas, or simply spending a night at a local motel once a week, keeping the romance burning is easy: all you have to do is keep stoking the fire.
One woman, married 47 years before her husband passed away, disclosed her secret to lifelong love. Every night, when her husband came home from work, they went up to their bedroom and hung a sign on the door that read “Do Not Disturb: Marriage In Progress.” For the following fifteen minutes they’d focus all their attention on one another. No phones, no pets, no distractions; even the kids knew that mom and dad were not to be bothered. When asked what they did in their bedroom, she laughed and said she’d leave that to our imaginations.  That was probably best anyway.

5. “Love is a four-letter word spelled G-I-V-E” Marriage Masters have a high degree of selflessness. “I’ll never forget what my mentor told my wife and me before we got married 42 years ago,” said a Marriage Master named Walter. “He looked at us and said, ‘Most people think marriage is 50/50.  It’s not. It’s 60/40. You give 60.  You take 40. And that goes for both of you.’”
It’s always super-apparent in the best of the best marriages that both spouses have followed this philosophy. Though it’s not a difficult concept to understand — putting one another first —it’s surely a bit more difficult to practice consistently, especially with the prevailing “Me first (and second)” mentality today. “The younger generations seem to have a sort of me-me-me mentality,” says Donna Lee, married 45 years. “The great part is that the me gets everything it needs when it puts the we first.”

6. Join the CMAT Club
Grandma Dorothy Manin, the inspiration for Project Everlasting with her 63 years of beautiful matrimony, formed an informal club when she turned 70 years old. She called it the CMAT club. The CMAT club stands for Can’t Miss A Thing and represents the idea that life is short, so make sure to enjoy as much as you can. The death rate for human beings hovers right around 100 percent, and is expected to remain there for … well, forever. Consider this: if the average life span is 77 years, then that means we only have 77 summers ... 77 winters ... 77 Christmas mornings ... 77 New Years, and that’s it. The Marriage Masters know this all too well. It’s easy to get caught in the day-to-day craziness of life and, in the process, take our spouses for granted. A widow named Betty, married 54 years, says, “Now that he’s gone I wish I hadn’t had so many headaches.”
The Marriage Masters are here to remind us that this adventure we call life goes by in the blink of an eye; relish your sweetheart’s presence while he or she is still here.

7. The Discipline of Respect
“You can have respect without love,” said Tom, married 42 years, “but you can’t have love without respect.” His sentiments were not uncommon in our 250-plus interviews around the nation. By and large, the number one secret to a thriving, everlasting marriage, as declared by the Marriage Masters, is respect. It is the catalyst for all things beautiful in a relationship: trust, connection, authenticity, and love. Unfortunately, respect — in all its seeming simplicity — is too easily overlooked, leading to criticism and all the ugliness that eventually causes both spouses to wonder (and vehemently): How in the heck did I ever fall in love with this person?
“You are the master of your words until they are spoken,” a Marriage Master of 65 years pointed out. “Then they become the master of you ... so choose your words carefully.”


Please, please, please. Don't take God out of the equation or your marriage will be an endurance trek or a broken one. God bless you!

Your Marriage is a Reflection of You

You want to get married, but because of the things you've been hearing that happens in other people's marriage you decide to go into yours with your sword, shield and weapons of warfare drawn against your husband-/wife-to-be.
My advice, don't get married at all. Save yourself from yourself.
Because they said  all sorts of things, generally, about men/women, doesn't mean, particularly, those things are true.
So long as the person you want to marry loves God, all you need do is love God too and every other thing will handle itself.

Besides, your marriage is a reflection of you. Look at the people who are not happy in their marriages. If you look closely, you'll discover that they are the problem. You can not go into marriage with "Me, Myself and I" attitude and expect things to go well. You are not them and so your marriage can't be like theirs. They are them, you are you.

You need only two people to make your marriage work: God and your spouse. You and your spouse can't run it alone. You need the "manufacturers manual", the Bible, and the manufacturer himself to make your marriage work.

God bless you and have fun!

Be the Right Person

As you pray to meet the right person that will be your life partner, know that it is more important that you be the right person. Also know that you cannot judge yourself to be the right person. Thanks to ego and pride. However, there's one who can judge you more accurately, God.

Just be the right person and God will bring the right person your way.

God's grace be upon you.